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2015年10月31日 星期六

Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

The way the Germans deal with prostitution is more or less the way they deal with their BWM's and Mercedes Benzes:  pragmatically, systematically and seriously. But there's a sense in which prostitution is anything but serious.


1.


Q: Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
A: O.J.'s a slicer, Monica's a hooker, Ted Kennedy can't drive over water, and Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole!


2.

Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a hooker?
A: A hooker because she can wash her crack and reuse it.


3.

Q: What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.


4.

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?
A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.


5.

Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a Kit Kat?
A: You only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat!


6.

Q: What's the difference between your job and a Dead Hooker?
A: Your job still sucks!


7.

Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: Whore's fuck everyone at the party. Bitches fuck everyone at the party except you.


8.

Q: Why do Republican politicians never conduct business on the same street where a prostitute is working?
A: Professional courtesy!

 

9.

Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a Hooker?
A: Tiger can work his balls both ways!


10.

Q: Why does Tiger play a round of golf with a prostitute?
A: To get a hairy hole in one.


11.

George Bernard Shaw was at a party once and he told a woman that everyone would agree to do anything for money, if the price was high enough.
`Surely not, she said.'
`Oh yes,' he said.
`Well, I wouldn't,' she said.

 `Oh yes you would,' he said.
`For instance,' he said, `would you sleep with me for... for a million pounds?'
`Well,' she said, `maybe for a million I would, yes.' 

`Would you do it for ten shillings?' said Bernard Shaw.
`Certainly not!' said the woman `What do you take me for? A prostitute?'
`We've established that already,' said Bernard Shaw. `We're just trying to fix your price now!'


12.

After spending a night with a prostitute at a hotel, the politician took $300 out of wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
"Thanks," she said, "But I only charge $20!"
"Twenty bucks for the entire night?" replied the amazed MP, "You can't make a living on that!"
"Oh, don't worry," said the whore, "I do a little blackmail on the side!"

Have a nice weekend. It's sunny out there. You know what I mean.