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2016年7月30日 星期六

Accountant's Jokes (會計師笑話)

Whenever we think of accountants, we tend to see them as solid staid and grim individuals who won't hesitate to spend $5,000 worth of work just to find out where the mistake/s was/were in your accounts that led to a 50 cents difference between the figures on the credit and the debit side of a set of ledgers or accounts. But sometimes, they may have a lighter side as well.  What do I mean?

1.  Inflation

Wife to Accountant husband: Darling, can you explain to me what exactly is "inflation" in terms that I can understand?
Accountant Husband: 

               Oh, that's really easy. 
               Earlier you were 36-24-36. 
               But now you are 48-40-48. 
               Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.

2.  Liability and Asset


1st year accountancy student : What is the difference between a "liability"  & an "asset"?
Accountancy professor:  I'll give you some examples that are guaranteed to stick with you. . 
                                     A drunk friend is a "liability" but a drunk girlfriend may be an "asset".
 
3. Recession

 Interviewer: What is a "Recession"?
Candidate: That critical phase of life when "wine & women" is replaced by "water & wife".

 


4. Monopoly and Competition

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for men having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If you have 1 wife, she fights with you
If you have 2 wives, they will fight for you!

 


5.  Before and After:

When you are in love, wonders happen.
But a few years after you get married, you wonder what happened.

 

6.  Change of Position
 

At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Ten years later, for some mysterious reasons, the order of the alphabets in the same word will somehow get reversed

 

7. Formula for Happiness.
 

Love One Another
And if that doesn't work, bring the last word into the middle!!!!

Have a nice weekend.